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Low self esteem?

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Total Posts: 18 Posts

  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 8:38 am

    My little bro has really low self esteem. He thinks he has nothing going for him, that he's ugly, that his life is shit and has been taking drugs (coke etc) to boost his confidence.

    He's been talking some real mad shit lately, real paranoid ramblings about how he heard this or that and people are talking about him. He's supposed to start uni in a week, i don't think he should go if he's not sound of mind!

    Being the older brother it looks like i'm the only one who can help. I just don't know what to do?! We never really got on and I can't help but think some of it is my fault.

    Anyone got any ideas?


    guitarboi

    23, Male, UK

    153 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 8:53 am
    The only way he's going to get over it is if he realises he needs to change, taking coke etc is just to hide away behind it. Try telling him what he's got going for him etc?

    You were my strength when i was weak,
    You were my voice when i couldn't speak,
    You were my eyes when i couldn't see,
    You saw the best there was in me,
    You picked me up when i couldn't reach,
    I'm everything i am because you loved me.

    Reedy <3


    xBitchAssx
    Forum Moderator

    21, Female, UK

    3,684 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:03 am

    xBitchAssx wrote:

    The only way he's going to get over it is if he realises he needs to change, taking coke etc is just to hide away behind it. Try telling him what he's got going for him etc?

    I wouldn't recommend "telling" anyone with low self esteem anything, even if you think it's for the best. Being dictated in this mental state will only pressure them into becoming worse than they already are.

    I would suggest getting closer to him and doing new things with him, don't try and tackle the problem directly, try and avoid it and eventually it should be forgotten with the change. By directly trying to help the problem in hand you'll only make it worse.


    moley

    20, Male, GE

    417 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:09 am

    moley wrote:

    I wouldn't recommend "telling" anyone with low self esteem anything, even if you think it's for the best. Being dictated in this mental state will only pressure them into becoming worse than they already are.

    I would suggest getting closer to him and doing new things with him, don't try and tackle the problem directly, try and avoid it and eventually it should be forgotten with the change. By directly trying to help the problem in hand you'll only make it worse.

    Yeah i suppose you're right in a way but wouldn't it boost their self esteem being told good things about themselves?

    You were my strength when i was weak,
    You were my voice when i couldn't speak,
    You were my eyes when i couldn't see,
    You saw the best there was in me,
    You picked me up when i couldn't reach,
    I'm everything i am because you loved me.

    Reedy <3


    xBitchAssx
    Forum Moderator

    21, Female, UK

    3,684 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:12 am
    i thought uni would be a good thing for someone with low self esteem, get to meet new people, new hobbies etccc

    www.mingleville.com/manchester-t16451.html- Manchester Meet

    men are like tyres it never hurts to have a spare

    :happy:


    ScouseBirrrd

    20, Female, UK

    1,425 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:16 am

    xBitchAssx wrote:

    Yeah i suppose you're right in a way but wouldn't it boost their self esteem being told good things about themselves?

    It gave me a false sense of self riteousness when someone did this to me in such a state of mind, though without the drugs, it builds you up though when you come to terms with why they're doing it then you'll soon realise that they're only saying these things to try and help you. The higher you're built up by such things the harder you are to fall, often worse than you were before.

    Though everyone suffers differently and no one precaution nor measure will work with everyone, I guess it's needed to know the person in order to help them personally.


    moley

    20, Male, GE

    417 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:19 am

    ScouseBirrrd wrote:

    i thought uni would be a good thing for someone with low self esteem, get to meet new people, new hobbies etccc

    Or it could make him worse cuz if he doesnt have the confidence to make new friends then that could make his self-esteem even lower as he'd feel rejected etc ..

    Feel The Rushh:

    easy come, easy go


    Bıaatch

    19, Female, ES

    814 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:46 am

    moley wrote:

    I wouldn't recommend "telling" anyone with low self esteem anything, even if you think it's for the best. Being dictated in this mental state will only pressure them into becoming worse than they already are.

    I would suggest getting closer to him and doing new things with him, don't try and tackle the problem directly, try and avoid it and eventually it should be forgotten with the change. By directly trying to help the problem in hand you'll only make it worse.

    Totally agree with you there!


    cafenero

    21, Male, UK

    236 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:50 am

    Are you my long lost big brother

    Your telling my story here


    No1Toker

    Account removed
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 10:56 am

    No1Toker wrote:

    Are you my long lost big brother

    Your telling my story here

    What helped you through it?


    guitarboi

    23, Male, UK

    153 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 11:00 am

    Take him in the car one night through a rough part of your town where all the homeless people sleep and and show them what a bad life really looks like

    No matter how bad you feel or ugly you think you are there is always someone worse of than you

    You need to try and make him feel grateful for what he has and be appreciative of what hes got and they havent


    No1Toker

    Account removed
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 11:09 am

    It's weird cos he's got loads of friends and even though he's dyslexic he did much better than me in school. On the surface he seems like an outgoing happy kid but it turns out deep down he's really insecure and unhappy.. i'm sure comedowns aren't helping either.

    Thinking back now I was the same before I started getting interest from girls. Maybe that's the crux of it- Women. The validation you get from being chosen by women might be what he needs. I dont know.


    guitarboi

    23, Male, UK

    153 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 11:11 am

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can,
    And the wisdom to know the difference.


    No1Toker

    Account removed
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 12:18 pm
    Tony Robbins.

    1337 []D05te|2

    Originally Posted by internet badass 2.0
    Talked to this brunette in a low cut shirt with the kind of rack that could get Charmin Ultra toilet rolls hard.


    Pauly (>'.')>

    24, Male, UK

    2,220 Posts
  • Report | Quote Posted: Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 12:37 pm

    This may not be the answer your'e looking for but it certainly helped me when I suffered from low esteem...

    TAKE MORE DRUGS


    tasty-guji

    Account removed
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