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Sooo, I was bored, and ill....and miserable, Good times, And i thought id have a look around for a blog i used to have on my old Facevault profile like 3 years ago. Basically a list of funny reasons someone should go on a date with me....(i didnt write them myself, i dont have that much time on my hands :P)

• If you let me take you to dinner, you get free food.
• It’s more fun than hitting yourself in the head with a hammer
• I have never broken into a bear’s home and eaten all his porridge.
• I always resist the urge to poke sharp objects into my ear on the first date.
• I am persistent.
• As of yet, I have never overlooked the importance of regular, continuous breathing.
• I only tie women up and spank them when they ask me to.
• I can, at the touch of a button, have a pizza delivered to me in 30 minutes or less.
• I would never smoke nor drink while pregnant.
• You’ve probably never gone out with a man who wears skirts.
• Would you want to be known throughout history as “the one who let Tom Packer get away”?
• I seldom pick a fight with inanimate objects.
• I won’t bore you by talking about my stamp collection.
• I always remember to use pixie dust when attempting to jump out of a window and fly.
• You’ll forever wonder what you’re missing if you don’t date me.
• I have not been proven to cause holes in the ozone Layer.
• Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married; who’s left?
• I don’t turn into a werewolf during a full moon.
• I don't eat crackers in bed
• My teddy bear wants to meet you.
• I am excellent at compiling purposeless lists.
• I have never mis-used Flubber in order to win a basketball game.
• I have never opened fire on a group of unarmed people.
• If you don’t like it, I promise to give you a full refund.
• So far, I have managed to not decapitate myself.
• The voices in my head told me you would like me.
• There is a refreshing absence of monsters under my bed lately.
• I would give up my appendix for the right woman.
• There’s no compelling reason why you shouldn’t.
• I’m smarter than the average bear.
• I promise to spend very little of our time together staring at other women.
• Just do it already!
• I had no part in the extinction of either the dodo or the passenger pigeo
• I have never gambled away a girlfriend in Las Vegas.
• We are of opposite genders in the same species.
• I can have it my way at Burger King.
• I have a pulse.
• Rarely do I take sweets from strangers.
• I have not wet my bed for at least two weeks now.
• I have never been used as a human sacrifice.
• I am cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
• There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.
• I always make sure I have sufficient personal flotation devices aboard any pleasure boat I am using.
• When getting out a lift at a 20+ story building, I don’t push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor
• I have never attempted to pull a rabbit out of a hat and gotten a lion instead.
• I don’t *just* want to grope your body.
• I will never have you kidnapped.
• Take me now. There will be plenty of time for normal people later.
• I have never tried to pick up men in a park.
• Thor thinks you should.
• Zeus agrees with him.
• Unlike Henry VIII, I have never had any of my wives beheaded.
• I will administer chocolate whenever you feel the need.
• I rarely stare directly at the sun.
• I usually put comment blocks in my programs.
• I am smarter than a computer. I can count past 1.
• I have rarley flashed a roomful of people.
• I’m nobody’s fool. If you would like me to be yours, just say so.
• I am a recovering celibate.
• I am the culmination of millions of years of random mutations
• It’s been over a year since I last got my neck tangled in a telephone cord
• I’m trying to commit suicide by sexual overdose and I need your help.
• I have never attempted to run down a skier with a power boat.
• I snatch kisses, and vice-versa.
• I’m not afraid to cry - admittedly it’s usually when I hurt myself, but I can build on that.
• I have no trouble committing attractive women’s email addresses to memory.
• You are falling madly in lust with me, you just haven’t realized it yet.
• I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinski.
• I’m not related to Micheal Jackson.