Ich Will wrote:

I get stupid jokes sent to me all the time which are not funny. It's actually very rare that i'll find a joke funny. Here's an example:

3 men meet on holiday and by coincidence they are all on their honeymoons. They agree to have a little wager on who can have sex with their wives the most number of times in one night but as they obviously can't openly discuss it, they will use toast as a code. 1 piece of toast at breakfast for each time they had sex.

Next day as all the men are ordering ther breakfast, the first man asks for 5 pieces of toast. Very proud of himself.

Next guy orders 6 pieces of toast with a huge grin on his face.

The final guy steps up and says '8 pieces of toast please, and make 2 of them brown bread!'.

How fucking shit. I felt like ringing my mate and telling him to delete my number after forcing me to read all that bollocks.

That's a terrible joke.

My auntie sends me funny ones that most people wouldn't laugh at, but because im a plonk i'll laugh at them ..

Now i found this joke quite amusing:

According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the Maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little Geordie ‘Princesses’).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

PlasticSpastic wrote:

That's a terrible joke.

My auntie sends me funny ones that most people wouldn't laugh at, but because im a plonk i'll laugh at them ..

Now i found this joke quite amusing:

According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the Maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little Geordie ‘Princesses’).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Terrible.

Try saying 'halal meat' without sounding like a Geordie greeting someone.

Lol I laughed at that. It aint even funny.

CaptainAwesome wrote:

What's 12 inches long and makes women scream at night?

Cot death.

Awh

What do you call a good looking honest Pakki?

Asif

2 fish in a tank and 1 says to the other "You man the guns and ill do the steering"

PlasticSpastic wrote:

That's a terrible joke.

My auntie sends me funny ones that most people wouldn't laugh at, but because im a plonk i'll laugh at them ..

Now i found this joke quite amusing:

According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the Maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little Geordie ‘Princesses’).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Haha ^^^ Thats funny

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

Whats red and crawls up your leg?

A homesick abortion