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Tom Vito wrote:
Sounds like lyrics to an Usher song or something. A lesbian Usher, that is.
i recognise the "poem" as song lyrics
hmmmm investigate isit
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Back to Literature just a poem i wrote for someone special
Tell people about this topic: Total Posts: 23 Posts
Posted: Tue 19th Aug 2008, 8:55 pm 
- Posted: Mon 8th Sep 2008, 4:15 pm
hayleyj wrote:
let me know what you think
Girl
Girl when i see you from across the room
I don't know what to do with myself
All i want to do is just sit here and admire the view
You're over there whilst i'm all the way over here
That is the way i feel it is going to stay, for always
I hate the fact that i can't change it
To me you are amazing, funny and gorgeous
Watching you with other people, having fun
I wish that i could be there too, with you
I wish that i could touch your lips with mine
For my hands to be entwined with your's
My heart goes insane just thinking about you
My head has no room to store anything else
You fill my head and my world with your beauty
This smile that beams from my face
Is for only your eyes to see, so i keep it locked away
You have the key, so please come and unlock it
I pray to god for just one chance with you
You don't see that this girl is crazy about you
So girl please help me out, you're the only one that can help!oo this is good.....
- Posted: Mon 8th Sep 2008, 4:26 pm
Now is a new day
I look to the life withe an other way
Ther is nothing to say
So i shut my mothe and go away
Without looking around or bhind me
Becouse nothing stil blong to me
Everything you said or you did stil kill me
I belive i have the power to forget you
And burne all my memori withe you
Tell me i was dreming when you hold me
Tell me i was slipping when you kiss me
Do you remenber when we spend all the time together
Without laie or haite just a place that blong us together
Itrust you and i give you my harte
But you broke it and it was very hard
Now i chose my way and i am leving
I never ever even think about you
No no more paine came from you
I want take away youe life
Cos i have my own
I put you in the other side
And i keep mouving in my life
And sing
Now is a new day
I look to the life withe an other way
tell me what you think about it ?
- Posted: Tue 9th Sep 2008, 9:37 am
Personally I think that a lot of the replies in this thread were simply uncalled for. Her sexuality or why she wrote it isnt important. A poem can be just to help someone release there emotions, and clear there mind.
There was no need for the abuse considering its obviousley took bottle to upload it onto a site like this for your criticism or compliments.
Its a decent poem, it did crack on a little, but its a good effort, I liked it.
Last edited by Shikaka, Tue 9th Sep 2008, 9:38 am.King of the Jews. - Posted: Tue 9th Sep 2008, 9:41 am
Shikaka wrote:
Personally I think that a lot of the replies in this thread were simply uncalled for. Her sexuality or why she wrote it isnt important. A poem can be just to help someone release there emotions, and clear there mind.
There was no need for the abuse considering its obviousley took bottle to upload it onto a site like this for your criticism or compliments.
Its a decent poem, it did crack on a little, but its a good effort, I liked it.
You're my hero.
She did say "let me know what you think" so i let her know what i thought... it was cringeworthy.
Dee
Account removed
- Posted: Tue 9th Sep 2008, 12:44 pm
Shikaka wrote:
Personally I think that a lot of the replies in this thread were simply uncalled for. Her sexuality or why she wrote it isnt important. A poem can be just to help someone release there emotions, and clear there mind.
There was no need for the abuse considering its obviousley took bottle to upload it onto a site like this for your criticism or compliments.
Its a decent poem, it did crack on a little, but its a good effort, I liked it.
ok thankx for the advice and i want to tell you, this is my first poem that 's mean i am not good enough to do somthing well, but the next time i will be better . i promise .
- Posted: Sun 9th Nov 2008, 12:48 am Nah
Pick a star on the horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye.
Rest in Peace Victoria & Will, always loved and missed, never forgotten xxx
